Bad Boys for Life
Since the first two installments of this franchise, both directed by Michael Bay, were so dreadful, I was not expecting anything from this — but to my great surprise, this one is actually good! Belgian directors Adil and Bilall, in their first Hollywood feature, stick to the established formula, but tweak it enough to iron out most of Bay’s big problems (sexist and homophobic “jokes”, non-stop explosions and car chases in search of a story, needless gore and corpse nudity). That’s not to say that this film is revolutionary or especially memorable, but I appreciated the big step up this franchise has taken here. The villains are still one-dimensional, but this time they have an emotional connection to the lead characters. Joe Pantoliano, as the police captain, is finally given some depth to play. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence continue to have fun buddy-cop chemistry, though their shtick is getting old now. In this film, for the first time, the stakes are high and actually have consequences. The jokes are often amusing, and I didn’t roll my eyes or sigh in despair even once. It’s the first film in this franchise that I can imagine watching a second time. That’s not saying much, but yay for this film!
Grade: B-
Dolittle
Robert Downey Jr. as the famous veterinarian who can talk to animals. In this film, he must emerge from years of deep depression following the death of his wife in order to go on an adventure at sea to a remote island — someone has poisoned the Queen of England, and it’s up to Dr. Dolittle to find the antidote! So yeah, it’s exactly the kind of content your kids are yearning for — Depression! Attempted murder! Such fun! Oh, and the film’s climax features Dolittle shoving his whole arm up a dragon’s bum. Seriously, what are you waiting for?! It’s fun to see Downey play someone other than Iron Man for the first time in six years, but this is such a mess. The visual effects are dreadful, and the animal voices (performed by such Oscar winners as Octavia Spencer, Rami Malek, Emma Thompson, and Marion Cotillard) never sound like they’re in the same room as Dolittle. How is this directed and co-written by Stephen Gaghan (Syriana, Traffic)? It’s not a good movie, but at least it’s never boring. The costumes and sets are lovely, and there’s a fun showcase for super-charismatic emerging teen actor Harry Collett. May his career be long and bright and free of any more talking CGI animals.
Grade: C-
The Gentlemen
Matthew McConaughey plays an American ex-pat in London who wants out of his multi-million marijuana business, leading various players to attempt to scheme their way into his fortune. Fun return to British crime comedy for writer-director Guy Ritchie after a decade of adapting existing IP. Wonderful editing here by James Herbert and Paul Machliss, whose stylistic flourishes and nonlinear storytelling make this caper so cheery and unpredictable. Delicious casting, with many actors playing believably against type — McConaughey as a debonair businessman who is always the smartest person in the room, Hugh Grant as a Cockney wiseguy, Charlie Hunnam as an intellectual and quietly menacing enforcer. Colin Farrell, meanwhile, demonstrates his immense comic chops once again. Superb costumes by Michael Wilkinson (those plaid track suits!) — I always appreciate when manly movies about men dress their characters in outfits this imaginative and stylish. The story being told here is ultimately quite disposable, but boy was this entertaining.
Grade: B
Gretel & Hansel
Fairy tale adaptation starring Sophia Lillis (It) and Samuel J. Leakey is a confusing mess of a story featuring stunning visuals. I appreciate that director Osgood Perkins (I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House) and writer Rob Hayes attempt to flesh out this story and give depth to the character of Gretel (here, she too has supernatural abilities, which the witch helps her nurture), but the storytelling borders on incoherent at times. Perkins fills every second with a dreamlike surreal tone, which is by turns gripping and glacial. Lillis speaks in a lifeless monotone for the entire film. Leakey the most irritating movie kid in years. Alice Krige mesmerizing and creeeeeepy as (one form of) the witch. Gorgeous cinematography by emerging D.P. Galo Olivares, who combines breathtaking painterly tableaux with frequent closeups and fisheye lensing. Impressive production design by Jeremy Reed, whose forest cottages and otherworldly basement dungeons are as beautiful as they are frightening. Eerie sound and visual effects too. Annoyingly, every time creepy things happen, the sequence ends with Gretel waking up in her bed, puzzled. So much to celebrate here, so much to object to.
Grade: C
The Grudge
Yeah, there was no need for this “sidequel” to exist. Taking place before and during the timeline of the original 2004 English-language Grudge, which starred Sarah Michelle Gellar, but with a different plot and characters, the film covers basically the same ground as the initial film, just less memorably. Nonlinear editing by Ken Blackwell and Gardner Gould a surprisingly ambitious storytelling choice — or, depending on how you see it, a sneaky way of making a very basic movie seem more sophisticated. Lin Shaye continues her delicious reign as a modern horror icon. Bafflingly bad performances throughout by Oscar nominees Demián Bichir (whose whispery line delivery is often indecipherable) and Jacki Weaver (whose phrasing is every bit as bizarre as her unplaceable accent). Thank heavens for sturdy leading lady Andrea Riseborough, as a police detective investigating a cursed house linked to several unexplainable deaths, who brings gravitas and emotional depth not present on paper. Thumbs down, though, for replacing the ghosts’ iconic glottal-distress sound effect with a less-human-sounding static. All that being said, this film is genuinely scary, so go ahead and watch it for a forgettable good time. Directed and co-written by emerging horror filmmaker Nicolas Pesce (The Eyes of My Mother); hopefully the film’s financial success encourages more studios to nurture his promising career.
Grade: C+
The Last Full Measure
War drama about a Washington lawyer in 1999 (Sebastian Stan) tasked with investigating an Air Force soldier who died in the Vietnam War (Jeremy Irvine) and his family’s 30-year fight to have him awarded with a Medal of Honor. Presented as a mystery of sorts, except I totally lost interest halfway through. Moving character portraits of how the trauma of war affects different people as decades pass. Flashbacks to war scenes in Vietnam poorly shot and edited — a confusing mess of images and sounds populated by anonymous characters. Slow-mo battle sequences set to melodramatic music indicate that we’re meant to be feeling SO MUCH, but I sure didn’t. Also, this is based on a true story, except all of the supporting characters appear to be fictional. Nevertheless, heartfelt performances by Christopher Plummer and Diane Ladd as the solider’s parents — and Samuel L. Jackson digs so much deeper here than he has in years. One of those films where the male lead doing Very Important Work has a pregnant wife whose only character trait is that she is worried and supportive (Alison Sudol, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them). Unbearably schmaltzy ending. Clumsy storytelling overall.
Grade: C
Like a Boss
This film is heartily recommended if you’re a fan of:
*movies about the cosmetics industry
*Rose Byrne being an awkward go-getter
*Tiffany Haddish being Tiffany Haddish
*Billy Porter being fabulous
*jokes about Salma Hayek’s boobs
*funny actresses trapped in formulaic screenplays
*mediocre comedies that are stale and predictable but still kinda funny
*watching cartoonish villains get their comeuppance
*delightful cameos by beloved sitcom icons
*anonymous filmmaking by a director (Miguel Arteta) who has definitely made better films in the past
*inspiring but bland friendship-girl-power themes
*watching movies that you definitely won’t remember
Grade: C+
The Rhythm Section
Action thriller about a woman (Blake Lively) at rock bottom some years after her entire family was killed in a plane crash who vows revenge when she learns that the crash was no accident. Yeah, the story is pretty surface-level and something we’ve seen many times before — but, in the hands of director Reed Morano (I Think We're Alone Now) it’s a visceral, painful film built around a series of exhilarating and character-based set pieces. Spectacular fight choreography. Aside from Morano herself, MVP here is D.P. Sean Bobbitt (12 Years a Slave), who films action sequences in heart-stopping handheld long takes (that miraculous car chase through the streets of Tangier!). Editor Joan Sobel (Nocturnal Animals) understands that the best action films are as unpredictable as they are thrilling. Superb performance by Lively, who disappears into this physically demanding role, sporting a believable English accent and many fun disguises. I think it’s the best work I’ve ever seen from her. This got negative reviews and was a colossal box-office flop — but it was without question the best film to come out of Hollywood in January. Rent it; it’s well worth your time.
Grade: B
The Turning
Horror movie based on Henry James’s The Turn of the Screw. I so wanted to love this. Unsettling performances by Finn Wolfhard (It) and Brooklynn Prince (The Florida Project) as the disturbed orphans at the centre of this story and Barbara Marten (blessed with one of cinema’s best faces) as their formidable housekeeper. Gorgeous locations — a manor house in the Irish countryside stands in for New England, and it’s truly stunning to look at. Despite this film’s reliance on so many haunted-house clichés and horror-movie jump scares, I was fully on board with this for a while; the performances were engrossing, and the whole thing was just so damn creepy. But... yikes. The story eventually takes a turn for the nonsensical before leading to an ending so abrupt and absurd that you’re just left raising your eyebrows in disapproval as the credits start to roll. So disappointing.
Grade: D+
Underwater
Sci-fi action horror about a drilling mishap at the bottom of the Mariana Trench which awakens a deep-sea kaiju. Kristen Stewart, grounded and emotionally complex despite thin writing, rocking an Ellen Ripley buzzcut. Intensely claustrophobic world-building. Superb sound design, visual effects — costumes, sets, water, creatures all created with wholly believable photoreal CGI. Underwritten supporting characters. Director William Eubank (The Signal) has confident control of tone and tension, from the opening heart-pounding action sequence to the satisfying ending. Viewers with an existing fear of the open ocean (like me!) will find this terrifying. Ultimately pretty disposable, but you won’t regret spending 95 stressful minutes down here at the ocean floor.
Grade: B-
